Open For Business! ... Kind of.

"What're you doing renting an apartment!? It's like owning a boat -- it's a hole you throw money into and you never see it again! Buy a house!" -- Ezekiel Emanuel, during some staff lunch in December 2015.

Introduction

That was a bit of paraphrase, but, you essentially get it.

And somehow, either through divine providence -- or most likely, sheer bull-headed determination -- I bought a house.

Womp womp

And after coming to some manner of peace with the power of compound interest and amortization tables, I realized I needed scramble to fill my house. With furniture and art, things and people and memories. But there was one key thing to be mindful of: I had to protect my investment.

For most, protecting one's home can go any number of ways. A monthly-paid monitoring service, bars and sophisticated locks and for the especially Second Amendment-savvy, a gun.

But if the deity of your father, and your father's father, and his father's father (yadda, yadda, yadda), happened to be the same one who delivered thy people from bondage in Egypt, then yep, you'd better believe there's a Mitzvah for that.

What is a Mitzvah (מצוה)? 

Great work, uh.. Hilda, now get to work fulfillin' them Mitzvot

Chabad.org posits the following, 

"The simple meaning of the word mitzvah is command. It appears in various forms with that meaning about 300 times in the Five Books of Moses. The Talmud1 mentions that the Jewish People were given 613 mitzvot at Sinai, and numerous codes—most notably, Maimonides’ Sefer Hamitzvot —provide detailed listings."

It's a commandment, sometimes a good deed, and occasionally "get this done because I told you so." But like everything, it's far more complicated than that.

Now get to work, assholes!
P.s. sorry about the tiny peen - your pal, G-d

Our code of laws and history, the Torah, created a framework of actionables. Actionables that we are compelled -- either by the divine or by the exhortation of our souls -- to go do. So, this is a blog about getting mitzvot done.

What Do Mitzvot Have To Do With Securing Your House, dude?

And you shall inscribe them on the doorposts [mezuzot] of your house and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be prolonged upon the land which G‑d swore to give to your fathers for as long as the heavens are above the earth. (Deut. 11:20-21)

The affixing of the mezuzah -- a mitzvah -- essentially hardwires a domicile to the Almighty.  You slap it up -- towards the top of the door frame, with the top of it slanted toward the interior of the home (as if to channel the blessing of a long life for you and yours inside, rather than letting it spill out of the street and make a mess where your neighbors can see it) and then you say the blessing. It goes like this,

For our gentile friends, what is recited is the following: Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to affix a mezuzah.

So first post, first night in the house, and first mitzvah. DONE. This house -- and the work that it will serve as a launchpad for -- is now officially OPEN FOR BUSINE--- .. I mean, OPEN FOR MITZVOT. Well, just as soon as we fix a few things..

OH COME ON

What Exactly Are You Angling At Here, chief?

Welcome to a bi-weekly blog chronicling an attempt to fulfill each of the 613 mitzvot (or is it 369? or 270? More on this, later). We'll do our best to "unpack" the mitzvah, going into its history and their analyses, as well as hear from some contemporary Philly-area rabbis as we undergo this work. And we'll wrap up with a mitzvah's impact -- whether felt or not. 

And we'll talk about what it's like to be a first-time home-buyer, while we're at it.

Radddd

Your man in the field,

Harlan